Nobody Knows the Troubles I’ve Seen

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth; they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
—Matthew 6:16-18, NIV

By Mary Donovan

Here it is Lent and they’re exhorting us to fast and pray, but don’t let it show. OK, I’m for that. However, it goes against my behavior modification.

What happened to good example? In the days when I was trying to form the character of seven people who thought they had character enough, thank you, good example was a major rule of my life. Not that it ever worked, at least not by any indications that I could see.

Most of the time my efforts backfired. Come to think of it, no one would have been convinced by the sackcloth and ashes routine anyway. They would have just thought I had let myself go to the dogs.

I tried to teach self sacrifice by self sacrificing. Here’s an example: somehow we were suddenly short one pillow. I gave my pillow away and slept on a rolled up chenille bathrobe. I did attract some notice with that one. In the morning my face looked like an all terrain vehicle had given it a pass. One offspring had a kindly piece of advice.

”I should think you’d put the bathrobe in a pillow case,” he said, “so your face wouldn’t look like that.”

I was brought up in a time when the mother automatically took the last piece or the scrapings. If a hamburger was so misshapen it looked like a Rorsacht blot, mother ate it. Peanut butter sandwich crusts, apples with one bite out of them –if no one else wants it give it to Mom

Can I tell you what’s wrong with that approach? My family members assessed me based on their own jaunty view of life. If they were doing something, it was because they jolly well wanted to. Ergo, if I was doing something, I must want to.

So nobody is going to know whether I’m fasting or not, or doing all kinds of penance. However, if I show up looking good, you might suspect something, and if I’m looking really good, let the Pope know.